Bored

I spend much of my life running from people trying to kill me, hiding from Fred, trying to earn a living without getting screwed over and annoying my neighbours.

Yet there are moments, snippets in time when none of the above is occurring...in short I have bouts of earth shattering boredom. 

These are rare mainly due to the frequency in which people try to kill me, but there are other things that keep me occupied during the quieter periods of my life. Such things as cleaning, field stripping and reassembling my entire weapon stock, including the weapons that are kept in my secret weapon store. I have also been known to follow Fred about and try to cause as many problems for him as possible. 

Unfortunately I have already cleaned, field stripped and reassembled my gun collection...twice and Fred has gone on a two week holiday to either Cancun, Madagascar, Belgium or Switzerland. He may have booked several holiday packages at the same time to stop me following him or he could just be the victim of credit card fraud...

Either way it has led to my current state of affairs...I am bored and when I am bored I do all manner of stupid things

When I'm bored I generally end up in jail.

Forms

Why is it that filling out forms is one of the most laborious and tedious tasks that administration ever created? What is it about having to answer a series of questions with confining restrictions placed upon the information that you can provide is just so tortuous to do? 

Was it created as some form of passive aggressive torture by frustrated, mild mannered secretaries? Or was it an April Fools prank that really has gone too far given that forms have persisted for several years now?

Whatever the reason for the existence of forms, from now on I am making Fred fill them all in since he is responsible for me spending a week in jail...I'd only had the locks changed on his apartment...