Thursday, 20 September 2012


What is it about fish? I don't mean for eating, I mean the ones that you keep in a tank or a pond.

I walked into a doctor's surgery the other day to see half of it taken up by a gigantic tank that made it impossible to see the reception desk (a blessing considering the receptionist). Around this tank were gathered all the waiting patients who were just staring gormlessly at the brightly coloured creatures as they swam frantically between the long wavy plants and hid under plant pots.

This mystery was further deepened when I may have had to sort of break into Fred's apartment for the fifth time this month, only to find his dining room had been replaced by an aquarium. This proved very problematic for me as I got so lost in watching the stupid fish that I lost track of time, heard Fred opening his door having finished work and had to climb out of the bathroom window so he didn't catch me. I spent six hours out on the ledge beneath that window waiting for him to fall asleep so I could go home!

So what is it about them that is so mesmerizing? I just don't understand this power they seem to hold over humanity. If any form of crime boss had caught on to their hypnotic powers then global domination wouldn't be far off. In this vein I am having a bookcase in my office replaced with a fish tank to see if I can't convince some of the weaker minded souls that pass through my door to part with more of their money. If I am successful then I am pretty sure I know what happened to all the Jedi...

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