Monday, 20 January 2014

Space Cowboy

The wild west has always been something I have loved. The gunslingers, the outlaws, the bandits, the Indians, the lawmen and the Texas Rangers; all of them seem to be my glamourous and overly romanticised precursors.

I say all of them because there are aspects of the stereotypical Hollywood portrayals of the different groups that I can identify with. With the gunslingers, I feel that the reason I identify with them is more than obvious. I share a desire to defend my homeland and avenge those that have been unjustly taken from me by bad, bad men. Men that have dodged the law avoided paying their penance for their crimes. A penance only payable by giving what they took - an eye for an eye.

The outlaws are fighting back against the heavy hand of justice that never gave them a fair chance, let off those that had done wrong by them and forced them into a life that they never wanted or intended to lead. Well in some respects at least. The times I ignore Fred, tie Fred up, lock Fred in cupboards, throw Harry off the scent, accidentally shot Fred don't really come under the "outlaws fighting back" category, more in the category of annoying my friends when they won't leave me alone. No I feel I fall into the outlaw category because I work very hard to bring down cops like Gary Rogers, Richard Ellis and Ross Turndune. Snakes that use the law to hide behind and crush the innocent under when it suits them.

The bandits, taking what they have to in order to survive, working for and against outlaws when it suits their purpose and reveling in the violence that comes with every new day. Well aside from the reveling in the violence part, I think that accurately describes my day to day life and struggle to survive long enough to kill...bring to justice those who have wronged me.

The Indians, having been robbed of what is rightly theirs, their free soaring spirits that are at one with the land and the pride in their way of life. All three fit perfectly with me and I have been tempted more than once to scalp certain individuals who find themselves funnier than they actually are.

The lawmen, standing as a barrier between innocent people and those that wish to do them harm. Well I sort of stand between between innocent people and those that wish to harm them, I also work for guilty people and protect them from guilty people who would do them harm as well.

And finally the Texas Rangers, that always get their man, I like to feel that I am that tenacious, that relentless and that focused. That I will not rest until those that have found themselves fallen afoul of me and my employers would feel the same terror as those that tried to run from or fight the Texas Rangers. I am Rooster Cogburn reborn in a woman's body, dressed in biker leathers and a trench coat and armed with revolvers.

Bounty Hunters I feel come a little too close to what I actually do to count as being from the wild west.

Though if I had to find myself a modern day equivalent then all I have to say on the matter is, I aim to misbehave.

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